It’s 1:30am on a Thursday. Ted Hargraves has §18 to his name. He’s chatting online and seems happy enough, before forcefully smashing his face on the keyboard out of frustration. Well that came out of nowhere. No thought-bubbles came up to explain what any of that was about. Someone other than me is trolling Ted? I don’t know how I feel about this. I thought we had something special, Teddy.
He’s made a friend called Dave. Dave is single and seems nice.
His energy is low and he reminds me of this when I suggest he find a job. He whinges. Apparently there’s a difference in expelled energy when chatting online than when job hunting online. No dice, Count Tedula, get in there! You need a job by morning. You can’t even afford to pay one bill and there’s two waiting. Shit just got real, son. Whatever options come up on this online job search, he’s taking one of them. The dream of a writing career is fraying and giving way to the realities of bills and home-ownership. He’s not Robinson Crusoe there, as they say.
Professional Sports Career – Rabid Fan.
It’s hard to imagine Ted as a rabid anything really. Other than pants-wetter. Only §13 per hour. 3pm – 9pm. MTWT_F_.
Culinary Career – Kitchen Scullion.
Potential to set self on fire or impale oneself, high. §25 p/h. 3pm – 9pm. MT__FSS. At least that one has two days off in a row. Would be hard to see any friends though with no weekends.
Political Career – Podium Polisher.
Probably what would most excite Ted. What better place to learn the power of words than in the political arena. The speech writer might get sick one day and they ask Ted to help out. This could turn into a writing gig… §24 p/h. 9am – 3pm. MTWTF__. Promising.
Medical Career – Organ Donor.
I wonder if he gets to choose which organs? §22 p/h. 9am – 3pm. MTWTF__.
Business Career – Coffee Courier.
Well I guess there’s a lot of copy flying around in the business world? Oh coffee. Right. Baw. §27 p/h. 8am – 2pm. MTWTF__.
Not the difficult decision I was expecting really. At least he didn’t have to choose between military and roadie. A career in politics is an intimate relationship with words. He’s going to see how they’re used to inflate people, tear people down, bully people, inspire people, and change the laws we live by. He could be the next Aaron Simkin.
Ted takes the job, and begins his political career. He seems genuinely pleased. I hope he’s going to be okay. If a job in politics isn’t depressing I don’t know what is…
This new job couldn’t come soon enough. Not only for his bank balance, but during the night he gets -15 to mood for being “Stir Crazy”, with the caption saying “Sims should leave the house frequently for sanity’s sake. Shake well with a community marinade for best results”. Interesting. Work will get him out of the house, but perhaps one day he should go for a walk into town.
He takes himself off to bed at 3:30am (!!!!!!!). He dreams almost solely of his new job. International flags (the kind you’d see lined up at the UN), ballot slips, and podiums. He isn’t giving off the vibes of a person disappointed in their career choice. He’s excited. Actually, I think I just saw him smile in his sleep.